Gone too soon

This morning, while doing my usual study-avoidance-ritual (Facebook...) I happened to come across a post that bothered me. A friend of my friend passed away, she was 35 weeks pregnant and the baby died too, she was only a year younger than me. I may not have known her, God knows that the only time I've encountered her was through that post, but it will be something that will stick to me none-the-less.

Our initial experiences with death will definitely not be our own, but rather through the death of someone else. Unfortunately, most of the time the ones who die are the ones we love...

I have to admit that there are times that I wish that it was someone else who died instead of the good people like Joey Velasco, Refdord White, my friend's friend...

Sana si dating FG na lang o yung isang anak niyang 'sikyu' daw... But I feel that sometimes, it's better that it is the good that die... This gives the bad an opportunity to seek redemption... Mr. Former FG this means you... You've been given countless times to seek redemption... don't piss it all away... (not unless you're planning to go to hell and take over the place...)

Reflections on faith...

I have to admit, I have not been okay for the past several months. To say the very least, tons of things have been burdening me, so much so there were times that I had begun entertain the possibility of embracing atheism. But, ironically, this near slip into Godlessness helped me understand more things about faith.

One's faith experience does not necessarily mean that one oh so passionately declare that "God is so good all the time! He never abandons me, I've never felt abandoned!" (plastic...) If there is one person we should not be plastic to, it's to Him, He sees us behind all the masks we have learned to wear, He sees us for who we are. We owe nothing more to Him than to come to Him as we are.

In the past, I would have to admit that my prayers consisted of telling God how bitter I was towards the things He has given me. I still am as to certain things like the condition I am afflicted with that will eventually disfigure me... But through it all, I know that He has a plan for me, so despite all that bitterness I have, I still carry on. I still believe. And even if there are times abandoning my faith would seem like the best option, I refuse to, because even when the clouds of doubt arise in the horizon, there is Something greater beyond...