I have to admit, I have not been okay for the past several months. To say the very least, tons of things have been burdening me, so much so there were times that I had begun entertain the possibility of embracing atheism. But, ironically, this near slip into Godlessness helped me understand more things about faith.
One's faith experience does not necessarily mean that one oh so passionately declare that "God is so good all the time! He never abandons me, I've never felt abandoned!" (plastic...) If there is one person we should not be plastic to, it's to Him, He sees us behind all the masks we have learned to wear, He sees us for who we are. We owe nothing more to Him than to come to Him as we are.
In the past, I would have to admit that my prayers consisted of telling God how bitter I was towards the things He has given me. I still am as to certain things like the condition I am afflicted with that will eventually disfigure me... But through it all, I know that He has a plan for me, so despite all that bitterness I have, I still carry on. I still believe. And even if there are times abandoning my faith would seem like the best option, I refuse to, because even when the clouds of doubt arise in the horizon, there is Something greater beyond...
3 comments:
welcome back! it's been more than a year (shame on you for neglecting your shattered mind) haha.
this reminds me of the little chat we had in the car last friday! It's prolly okay to proclaim to everyone you love God and all, but it would be better to let your actions speak for itself. Homily yesterday's relevant to your post: To love God is to love OTHERS as YOURSELF.
i thought about my long list of difficult people to love. In the end I find myself thinking there are reasons behind these people's undecipherable nature. And being given, as we all have, reason and freewill - I choose nalang to understand and accept them for who they are, and acknowledge the innate good in all. It makes "love your neighbor" bit easier. :D
hehehe, one year too long...
realizing that there is indeed an innate goodness in all people maks loving others 'easier'...
I guess it can also help to see that even assholes(maybe especially assholes) are broken people, this allows us to see and undrstand how to love the unlovable...
sige nga post mo a$$3@13 list mo sa blog mo! hehehehe
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